septmeber 26 , 2014
its only 3 pm and i have already sweat out all of the water (bisap) i had today. i am also disscussing with a fly on whether or not he (or she) should get the fuck out.
dispite the disturbance, i still want to get on with my life and practice guitar. I am also waiting for the person who change the key on my door which has consequently, left me front door less and exposed to the world. its too hot to do anything today, even the locals said so, so how the hell is someone from not this climate supposed to do stuff within the hottest hours of the day????
just the other sunday i was lying on the beach with my friends saying 'wow, ive made it. we made on an african beach. this is the life'. is this the life? in dunno. those days when you spend the morning doing lao tsu meditation with beninese people, get taken to this awesome vegetarian restuarant, et enfin go to the beach are days that you are glad to spend two years in benin.
pc benin is interfering with my goals in life: not to be under direct sunlight.
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
Monday, September 22, 2014
july 27, 2014
july 27th
this week will probably be one of last weeks ill have internet (at least for two weeks).
Also tomorrow is the fete de ramadan and my birthday~~~!!!!
so after classes:(( ill head straight home and idk there will probably be a while bunch of people around my house bc it probably seems like the center of all muslim festivities in my town. Ill probly wake up to more "allah" songs/prayers.
On saturday after class i went with another classmate to go to a birthday party of another sector. It seemed to me a good chance to get out of the big ol' city, porto-novo, and see what its like outside big cities. despite the unnecessary hour long ride, i really like the village life, a lot quieter than PN. It also gave me another chance to hang out with other sectors too which i really was looking forward to. by the time we got there, the party was winding down but still i decided to dance into the few hours i was there and danced with one of the trainees little sister and she seemed to take a liking to me. on the way back home we made a couple of stops to another volunteers house which was big and huge and i was abit jealous even. As we made our way through the little pathways to the big road where all the zems are found, my new 'sister' (which i seem to make one everyday) stopped by her moms shop to talk and chat and introducing us to the happiest little baby ive ever seen. most babies here run away from me (idk exactly why), but this one just made my long day worth it with her smile:))
this week will probably be one of last weeks ill have internet (at least for two weeks).
Also tomorrow is the fete de ramadan and my birthday~~~!!!!
so after classes:(( ill head straight home and idk there will probably be a while bunch of people around my house bc it probably seems like the center of all muslim festivities in my town. Ill probly wake up to more "allah" songs/prayers.
On saturday after class i went with another classmate to go to a birthday party of another sector. It seemed to me a good chance to get out of the big ol' city, porto-novo, and see what its like outside big cities. despite the unnecessary hour long ride, i really like the village life, a lot quieter than PN. It also gave me another chance to hang out with other sectors too which i really was looking forward to. by the time we got there, the party was winding down but still i decided to dance into the few hours i was there and danced with one of the trainees little sister and she seemed to take a liking to me. on the way back home we made a couple of stops to another volunteers house which was big and huge and i was abit jealous even. As we made our way through the little pathways to the big road where all the zems are found, my new 'sister' (which i seem to make one everyday) stopped by her moms shop to talk and chat and introducing us to the happiest little baby ive ever seen. most babies here run away from me (idk exactly why), but this one just made my long day worth it with her smile:))
september 21 entry
September 21, 2014
The traffic jam is benin extends our already 12 hour car ride by three short hours. But no complaints can be heard here. Luckily, we were not on any benin-owned buses, luckily, the illness i was/am suffering through did not occur in the car, luckily i have made some pretty good friends to shorten our 15 hour ride.
It seems that training is over and my real and new life begins. Since I like lists, the following are goals for the next few months:
(not in any order)
1. Start studying (GRE, korean, french,bariba, poole)
2. more guitar time (I have more time to myself to practice)
3. English Club
4. Choir Club??
5. Secondary Projects: Primary school English time, environmental education workshops,....
6. Decorate my House!
7. Self-directed capoeira trainings
The traffic jam is benin extends our already 12 hour car ride by three short hours. But no complaints can be heard here. Luckily, we were not on any benin-owned buses, luckily, the illness i was/am suffering through did not occur in the car, luckily i have made some pretty good friends to shorten our 15 hour ride.
It seems that training is over and my real and new life begins. Since I like lists, the following are goals for the next few months:
(not in any order)
1. Start studying (GRE, korean, french,bariba, poole)
2. more guitar time (I have more time to myself to practice)
3. English Club
4. Choir Club??
5. Secondary Projects: Primary school English time, environmental education workshops,....
6. Decorate my House!
7. Self-directed capoeira trainings
the little things
Im sitting on the communal computer room in the north of benin at my regional workstation. I can hear a melange of the call to prayer from several different mosques nearby. Low chants chime in the background , guttural , rhythmic, some of the fast , some slow.
after a successful stroll the day before through the market of kandi, I feel more comfortable with being in my village. The north is nothing like the south. No one is questioning if you are american here in the north, for some reason its automatically assumed.
i have been spending an unreasonable amount of time thinking about grenoble. not particularly about the experiences but the ones i would have if I moved there after benin. this is also the same for vienna if I lived there. It is probably due to the fact that I am studying for the GRE. once i start teaching, maybe my mind will finally catch up to the present.
photo of a few other volunteers in my region and our homologues. hilarity ensues with a bit of delusion from a 2-day voyage,
one thing: not to bring this up again as the main theme in my blogs, but its come up again in my life and i have to take note of its frequency. after over hearing a conversation about how cool or uncool each of the colored volunteers are AND repeatedly being asked about (like, how is _____?) another black volunteer (whom i have never talked to before). i have come to conclude that i dont actually like some volunteers. It's sad, because some of these people are in my region and it looks like i have to deal with them for two years.
anyway, i'll be writing more posts once i get installed into village.
after a successful stroll the day before through the market of kandi, I feel more comfortable with being in my village. The north is nothing like the south. No one is questioning if you are american here in the north, for some reason its automatically assumed.
i have been spending an unreasonable amount of time thinking about grenoble. not particularly about the experiences but the ones i would have if I moved there after benin. this is also the same for vienna if I lived there. It is probably due to the fact that I am studying for the GRE. once i start teaching, maybe my mind will finally catch up to the present.
photo of a few other volunteers in my region and our homologues. hilarity ensues with a bit of delusion from a 2-day voyage,
one thing: not to bring this up again as the main theme in my blogs, but its come up again in my life and i have to take note of its frequency. after over hearing a conversation about how cool or uncool each of the colored volunteers are AND repeatedly being asked about (like, how is _____?) another black volunteer (whom i have never talked to before). i have come to conclude that i dont actually like some volunteers. It's sad, because some of these people are in my region and it looks like i have to deal with them for two years.
anyway, i'll be writing more posts once i get installed into village.
Friday, September 19, 2014
training is over
after a great end of training party, i head to the cyber cafe for the last time.
my feet hurts of all night intense sessions with my coping mechanism: dancing.
ive been negative lately, not listing five things i like about my life right now:
1. getting to spend an entire day recovering and doing what I want.
2. realizing i have a whole new team of supporters behind me.
3. I got to be more familiar with cotonou/benin
4. planning sweet reunions with other volunteers.
5.getting to talk to my friends back home:))
my feet hurts of all night intense sessions with my coping mechanism: dancing.
ive been negative lately, not listing five things i like about my life right now:
1. getting to spend an entire day recovering and doing what I want.
2. realizing i have a whole new team of supporters behind me.
3. I got to be more familiar with cotonou/benin
4. planning sweet reunions with other volunteers.
5.getting to talk to my friends back home:))
Wednesday, July 23, 2014
ma chere
july 23 2014
i havent mentioned that fact yet that yes! i am finally admitting that i am having and will have a totally non comparable peacecorps experience than most volunteers. i mention this bc, at first, it was hard. usually people come together closer in this setting by talking about the shit they went through during the first weeks of being here. and i, myself, i am having a REALLY nice time. AND i cannot really ccomplain much: I am feeling different partly bc: I AM yorouba, i am nigerian, my family accueil is yoruba, im having this awesome inner quest to find myself and everyone else is pretty much preoccupied with getting called YOVO (the langue local word for stranger) and secondly, benin is wayyyyy different from home,but you dont see me complaining anyhow. anything that will stop me complaining is having just to remember that most of my life i thought i was the most unluckiest kid alive. I never complain about meals here bc it sucks as a child having to depend on meals at school for your basic nutrition needs. Now i get two meals a day, and even though they are not my first choice for breakfast and dinner meals, they are cooked for me at my home and i know ill never be hungry again. I remember being so hungry some days when i was in middle school and the only reason i went to school was to have a meal that day.
anyway today was the defintion of an hot and cold day.
after having another talk with a staff member, im irritaed to the max.
je ne veux pas savior que les autres qui me pensent
since i have a bit of a habit of talking about negatives, something amazing happened today!! one other trainee finally freaking gave me episodes of the chappelle show.
at the start of training i was very very frugal, now every day after class i ride my bike to my house and on the way i stop by a shop to buy sweets. which is good but mostly bad. mostly bad bc i see the way people look at me, this black girl with a tossed skirt to the side. I used to attracting unwanted attention (see Slovakia) but usually on average about 10 people shot "bon travail" "ca va ma chere" but actually one cute girl said "tu est jolie" which really made is chuckle bc i was ride my bike through mud all day, and there was mud all on my feet and sandals and even some on my clothes, how can anyone even imagine that??
when i came hope, i had a nice and lovely chat about my birthday which is on the exact date of fete ramadan
and lastly, july is still a very tough time for me because it is the anniversary of my best friend death. I still cant believe ive made it through so many years without her.
and i still feel slightly irritated at my dissapoointment in the training,,, but i know soon itll be all over and soon i will be alone at my site
i havent mentioned that fact yet that yes! i am finally admitting that i am having and will have a totally non comparable peacecorps experience than most volunteers. i mention this bc, at first, it was hard. usually people come together closer in this setting by talking about the shit they went through during the first weeks of being here. and i, myself, i am having a REALLY nice time. AND i cannot really ccomplain much: I am feeling different partly bc: I AM yorouba, i am nigerian, my family accueil is yoruba, im having this awesome inner quest to find myself and everyone else is pretty much preoccupied with getting called YOVO (the langue local word for stranger) and secondly, benin is wayyyyy different from home,but you dont see me complaining anyhow. anything that will stop me complaining is having just to remember that most of my life i thought i was the most unluckiest kid alive. I never complain about meals here bc it sucks as a child having to depend on meals at school for your basic nutrition needs. Now i get two meals a day, and even though they are not my first choice for breakfast and dinner meals, they are cooked for me at my home and i know ill never be hungry again. I remember being so hungry some days when i was in middle school and the only reason i went to school was to have a meal that day.
anyway today was the defintion of an hot and cold day.
after having another talk with a staff member, im irritaed to the max.
je ne veux pas savior que les autres qui me pensent
since i have a bit of a habit of talking about negatives, something amazing happened today!! one other trainee finally freaking gave me episodes of the chappelle show.
at the start of training i was very very frugal, now every day after class i ride my bike to my house and on the way i stop by a shop to buy sweets. which is good but mostly bad. mostly bad bc i see the way people look at me, this black girl with a tossed skirt to the side. I used to attracting unwanted attention (see Slovakia) but usually on average about 10 people shot "bon travail" "ca va ma chere" but actually one cute girl said "tu est jolie" which really made is chuckle bc i was ride my bike through mud all day, and there was mud all on my feet and sandals and even some on my clothes, how can anyone even imagine that??
when i came hope, i had a nice and lovely chat about my birthday which is on the exact date of fete ramadan
and lastly, july is still a very tough time for me because it is the anniversary of my best friend death. I still cant believe ive made it through so many years without her.
and i still feel slightly irritated at my dissapoointment in the training,,, but i know soon itll be all over and soon i will be alone at my site
Monday, July 21, 2014
some entries
july 21
my best friends: fans,mamas who give me good prices for things i want to buy, and did i say fans? ventelateurs, i love you so much
not a big fan of: being home before dark, not getting any remontants, being told that being myself was not the best way to spent my time here.
shit
for some reason i got really sad today, but i dont really know how i got really sad or why, but i felt really melancholy and i havent felt that
in a long time, it makes me mad, how my mood can change so quickly. i just get really fed up sometimes, and when i feel like im trapped in a corner
i feel hopeless and upset. so far for the past two weeks ive been told that the last persons i should be right now is me. this personalilty isnt working
for the right now. feedback-what other reaction can i feel for someone who tells me NOT to be me? disgust---not at myself, but for a collection of people
who just need to get a clue.
i seriously dont think that african americans have it bad here, not a all. but because im a teacher, people need to respect me right? ok tell every woman that
they probably need to dress conservatively for the respect of other teachers and students: cool. But pull my black ass out of the crowd and tell me im am black (like
i dont know that) and that i should have already been dressed to the nines in traditional clothes and have my hair permed and pressed ....wtf
i thought i wasnt gonna get the painful stares as the other volunteers, but damn, im getting the wrong kind of attention.
good news,i just downloaded GoT from a classmate and my life is not complete! (jai besoin encore des romans excitants!)
july 22
arafat....
sayid...
wow my mom can sure yell the names of her sons all day
im sure everyone in this culture feels differently, but i feel like the youngest in the family does everything, maybe they are used to it, maybe my childhood was alittle bit the same, i always did things, maybe twice moreover, but the youngest one does EVERYTHING. maybe i feel a little inaddequte bc no one really taught me to do all those things that are necessary for growing up.
yorouba-honestly i didnt come here to discover my roots and be integrated as a real african. somehow though i do think about my origins while here, i also think about grenoble and how much happier i would be if i lived in someplace like that. i think people are surprised that i hold i general interest-as i do in all cultures- about yorouba culture. anyway some new words i learned:
ecarro-good morning
ecasan-good afternoon
ecala?-good night
all of these spellings are probably incorrect and im probably making my ancestors dissapointed right now.
somehow surprisly ive managed to live off the 70 dollars ive exchanged since i got here.
my best friends: fans,mamas who give me good prices for things i want to buy, and did i say fans? ventelateurs, i love you so much
not a big fan of: being home before dark, not getting any remontants, being told that being myself was not the best way to spent my time here.
shit
for some reason i got really sad today, but i dont really know how i got really sad or why, but i felt really melancholy and i havent felt that
in a long time, it makes me mad, how my mood can change so quickly. i just get really fed up sometimes, and when i feel like im trapped in a corner
i feel hopeless and upset. so far for the past two weeks ive been told that the last persons i should be right now is me. this personalilty isnt working
for the right now. feedback-what other reaction can i feel for someone who tells me NOT to be me? disgust---not at myself, but for a collection of people
who just need to get a clue.
i seriously dont think that african americans have it bad here, not a all. but because im a teacher, people need to respect me right? ok tell every woman that
they probably need to dress conservatively for the respect of other teachers and students: cool. But pull my black ass out of the crowd and tell me im am black (like
i dont know that) and that i should have already been dressed to the nines in traditional clothes and have my hair permed and pressed ....wtf
i thought i wasnt gonna get the painful stares as the other volunteers, but damn, im getting the wrong kind of attention.
good news,i just downloaded GoT from a classmate and my life is not complete! (jai besoin encore des romans excitants!)
july 22
arafat....
sayid...
wow my mom can sure yell the names of her sons all day
im sure everyone in this culture feels differently, but i feel like the youngest in the family does everything, maybe they are used to it, maybe my childhood was alittle bit the same, i always did things, maybe twice moreover, but the youngest one does EVERYTHING. maybe i feel a little inaddequte bc no one really taught me to do all those things that are necessary for growing up.
yorouba-honestly i didnt come here to discover my roots and be integrated as a real african. somehow though i do think about my origins while here, i also think about grenoble and how much happier i would be if i lived in someplace like that. i think people are surprised that i hold i general interest-as i do in all cultures- about yorouba culture. anyway some new words i learned:
ecarro-good morning
ecasan-good afternoon
ecala?-good night
all of these spellings are probably incorrect and im probably making my ancestors dissapointed right now.
somehow surprisly ive managed to live off the 70 dollars ive exchanged since i got here.
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