ma chere

july 23 2014
i havent mentioned that fact yet that yes! i am finally admitting that i am having and will have a totally non comparable peacecorps experience than most volunteers. i mention this bc, at first, it was hard. usually people come together closer in this setting by talking about the shit they went through during the first weeks of being here. and i, myself, i am having a REALLY nice time. AND i cannot really ccomplain much: I am feeling different partly bc: I AM yorouba, i am nigerian, my family accueil is yoruba, im having this awesome inner quest to find myself and everyone else is pretty much preoccupied with getting called YOVO (the langue local word for stranger) and secondly, benin is wayyyyy different from home,but  you dont see me complaining anyhow. anything that will stop me complaining is having just to remember that most of my life i thought i was the most unluckiest kid alive. I never complain about meals here bc it sucks as a child having to depend on meals at school for your basic nutrition needs. Now i get two meals a day, and even though they are not my first choice for breakfast and dinner meals, they are cooked for me at my home and i know ill never be hungry again. I remember being so hungry some days when i was in middle school and the only reason i went to school was to have a meal that day.
anyway today was the defintion of an hot and cold day.
after having another talk with a staff member, im irritaed to the max.
je ne veux pas savior que les autres qui me pensent
since i have a bit of a habit of talking about negatives, something amazing happened today!! one other trainee finally freaking gave me episodes of the chappelle show.
at the start of training i was very very frugal, now every day after class i ride my bike to my house and on the way i stop by a shop to buy sweets. which is good but mostly bad. mostly bad bc i see the way people look at me, this black girl with a tossed skirt to the side. I used to attracting unwanted attention (see Slovakia) but usually on average about 10 people shot "bon travail" "ca va ma chere" but actually one cute girl said "tu est jolie" which really made is chuckle bc i was ride my bike through mud all day, and there was mud all on my feet and sandals and even some on my clothes, how can anyone even imagine that??
when i came hope, i had a nice and lovely chat about my birthday which is on the exact date of fete ramadan
and lastly, july is still a very tough time for me because it is the anniversary of my best friend death. I still cant believe ive made it through so many years without her.
and i still feel slightly irritated at my dissapoointment in the training,,, but i know soon itll be all over and soon i will be alone at my site