black-ness

i think i stopped being "black" according to most people when i read all of tolkiens books before starting high school. what most people thought of me mattered 2% in my life, but i never really believed that liking hip hop/rap was an  automatic go-to music choice for me or anyone else because of my skin color (I do like this music but i also like jazz and celtic songs).
no matter how far or how long i have travelled, other people (mainly other american expats) seem to want to put me in their "token" black friend status. i end up being friends with non american expats or locals and we all share a nice dialogue about our cultures.
here, in benin, there is hardly a dialogue. when I talk to locals, they are well perplexed by my american attitude and standards i end up defending myself instead of having a conversation. before i came to benin, i reveled in the idea of being in a place where people look like me and i blend in. Korea was a modest place where young people stole stares at you and old people bore those stares into your soul. Slovakia was a place where people didnt stare out of curiosity, but probably a mixture of disgust or envy (a post about that later). More or less i enjoyed most of the stares because i felt proud--i represented a darker person in these regions where there are so scarce. I think im confusing people by being so different but also similar. I mean, in my village there are many different cultures, but people cant seem to categorize me. Or they wont. If I speak one word of peule im suddenly fulani, if i speak bariba, im suddenly batooni, never american. 
I have met some amazing american friends while travelling but i have also met some of the most racists americans while travelling. benin is no different.
of all the other third world countries ive been to( guatemala) benin IS different. i only went to guatemala for a total of ten TOURISTIC days. I saw the poverty, we all helped out, but i also looked past all the filth and violence and fell in love with the country. I remember going to me room after returning home  from my 3 hour plane ride and feeling like i should have never left. It was a life changing experience. It was an experience that catalyzed my love for children's education and humanitarian work.
fast forward 5 years and I am in benin,,,living the dream,,,