in austria

I just had the best day in austria. I went down the hill-barely not in any vehicle manslaughter accidents-into the town to spend sometime to myself and stumbled upon a cafe. The server was very kind to me and was unabashed at my akwardness upon entering the cafe. after i ordered some coffee, i wasnt in any way expection to hearing coldplay and lauren hill on the radio. which is exactly what i needed to assuage the anxiety creeping up on me in the past two weeks. I can say things are going good. but will i actually believe it? i know what i need to do to almost completely eliminate this feeling, but i just know it wont ever go away.

appreciated

For the first time in a long time, i feel appreciated. yes its true that only a small thing is expected of me-to teach english- but I also feel like unless im giving something or doing something (not for myself of course), I am considered a waste of space and time. Maybe it just a change of scenery that is making me so happy, or that i need to lay low and be a little less introspective, in the end, i feel happy.

bratislava

back in bratislava again. This will evenutally be my peace corps process/bratislava experience/the adventures of Obe blog. personal blog. updates soon. here is a lovely picture

grasse matinees

this morning i had to take dalyce to the bus stop to go to raca. before in the flat in the foyer, we met ati and we said our greetings. we went to the bus stop. and i was telling dalyce the whole story about how i had a crush on ati (the homeowner) and how me and rachel were discussing him the other day and he had snuck up on us. now he really did sneak up on is again JUST as i was saying i would ride that train.
that is all.

my life right now

my life

welcome back donna

I am now myself. no more running around in a different country not knowing where the hell i was going. so many stories to tell. I will start off by saying i quit my job and now i will be free to do whatever i want. firstly, I am going to make a list of all the things i want to do before i go:
-visit budapest
-vienna again
- nightlife
-buy stuff and things for friends/family
-donate clothes to thriftstore
-

exceptionally black-“In this country American means white. Everybody else has to hyphenate.” -Toni Morrison

I was reading arendt on her essays on the exceptional jews and everything she said became so familiar to me, like deja vu or something of that sort.
just why do I ALWAYS have to prove myself? Without skipping a beat, every person I meet I have to prove something to them.
Some people are just born, and thats the only time that they have to prove themselves.
"You have to be TWICE as good as them to get HALF of what they have!"
This show is too real. There are some shows that are good, but at the end of the series, you don't think about them. BUT this show, it gets you thinking. In the end, its never about race bc people dont realize that JUST to live a NORMAL life, I had to work hard while others just simply be. If I were to simply just "be" I would not be here.

The positive thing about travelling is meeting new people who are just like you. You can get along well and you meet friends who will last a life time. The thing is, no one is like me. As I deepen my relationship with the people I have met, I realize that they came to love the world and cultures from a different perception in me. Yes, everyone has a different story, but in the end, I notice that I try to hide my story, not bc im shy or im ashamed, is just that I dont want to be claimed as "exceptional". I just want to be normal.